A few days ago, I conceded that in the attempt to be ridiculous,
Abbott’s action had clearly beaten my satire for the month of January. I
have to concede that his press club speech outdid my suggestion for what he would say
by such a margin that one would have to declare him firm favourite to
win February as well. I read this before I read the transcript so I
thought that the speech might be OK.
The Australian’s Dennis Shanahan says “Tony
Abbott has taken his first step towards restoring order and stability
in his Government in a simple, straightforward manner with a speech which was error and surprise free.”
Outstanding! Well, that should make all Abbott’s critics shut up. A
prepared speech lacking errors or surprises – that must make this the
equivalent of Churchill’s war-time efforts or Keating’s Redfern speech.
Except, Mr Shanahan – apart from the fact that his speech contained more
re-runs than Channel 10 over the summer break – it’s just not true.
I haven’t exactly gone through it with a fine tooth comb, but at a
quick glance I found the following errors or points of interest:
- “Our problem is not that taxes are too low; our problem is that government spending is too high.” Hardly any economists agree!
- “The carbon tax is gone — so every household, on average, is $550 a year better off.” ????
All I can say is some people must have been burning a lot of
electricity and be thousands better off, if that average is anywhere
- “The live cattle trade that Labor closed down in panic over a TV programme is booming again.” Actually
I think it was over what was happening to the cattle, not the TV
programme, or is he suggesting that, if it hadn’t have been made public
like that, there’d have been no need for action?
- “There will be no carbon tax under a government I lead.” Wasn’t
there one until July last year? All right, he may have been trying to
get rid of it, but it certainly didn’t stop as soon as he was elected;
neither did he offer to pay us back our “$550″ for the years 2013-2014!
- “Petrol prices are nearing 15 year lows, home loan interest rates
are low and stable, and the September quarter had the biggest fall in
power prices on record.” Is he claiming credit for lower petrol prices? And aren’t interest rates at ‘emergency levels’ because we have a slow economy?
- “If you’re a small business owner, it’s likely that you’ve mortgaged
your home in order to invest, employ and serve the community.” Those incompetent bastards! Going into debt!! People shouldn’t be risking their kids inheritance by going into debt!!
- “Every big business started off as a small business.” What? Even those who started off by listing on the stock exchange to raise a billion or so in capital?
- “Every new worker is generating revenue — so spending to get
unemployed people into work; on childcare to keep parents in the
workforce; on infrastructure to get people to their jobs; and on a small
business tax cut to create jobs will help to get the budget back
towards the surplus our country needs. Economic growth is the best and
fastest way to restore the surplus.” Isn’t this what Labor argued during the GFC?
And, he does remind us that everything is Labor’s fault, and if you
ever vote Labor it’s because you’re even more forgetful than Arthur
Sinodinos, when asked exactly what he was being paid to do, so that’s
something that must make us all think that the people of Queensland and
Victoria don’t understand the concept of democracy. You’re meant to keep
voting Liberal and if you don’t, it’s because you’re just wrong.
And, of course, this isn’t a surprise or an error. It’s just another
broken promise, which is par for the course, for Abbott! “So, a bigger
parental leave scheme is off the table.”